the continuous list of things that grind my gears

1. the sound of someone loudly/obnoxiously chewing

2.writing papers or doing assignments that are completely bullshit in a class that will never help me in the future and has nothing to do with my major

3. when someone doesn't replace the toilet paper roll... even though i blow it off sometimes too

4. logging onto facebook and not having any notifications

5. the fact that the previous statement was made and is on this list

6. people who can eat anything and everything and never work out that have incredible bodies

7. running.

8. when someone makes fun of someone else for something that they have no control over.

9. walking into a room and forgetting what i got up off the couch and went in there for in the first place

10. when people ask me for gas money when i know their parents fill their tank

11. when someone starts texting during a conversation and you have to repeat everything you just said while they were typing

12. racism

13. forgetting about the chapstick in my pocket until it's been destroyed by the dryer

14. when people claim they don't like a certain food when they have never even tried it

15. reality shows based on the lives of celebrities or people that are famous for no reason

16. folding laundry

17. wrinkled clothes

18. when my dog poops on the floor after just spending an hour outside

19. that awkward moment that occurs when your walking up the street and an acquaintance or someone you've met maybe once before is approaching you and you don't know whether to make eye contact and smile or just keep your head down and pretend you never saw them.

20. butchering someone's name

20 things I have learned/discovered in my 20 years of existence

1. It’s all about who you know

2. Everyone in Rhode Island has mutual friends and family members. There are maybe 2 degrees of separation, as opposed to 6.

3. The poorest people I have ever met are also the nicest. The richest people I have ever met are douche bags.

4. Every place I have ever lived has also been inhabited by a secret sock thief. His one purpose in life is to steal one sock out of every pair I own, and send it off into another dimension where I will never see it again.

5. Boys can always be replaced.

6. Being gay is normal. Unintentionally, like 50% of my closest friends are gay. They have taught me that liking the same sex is not necessarily a characteristic or a trait that shapes their personality and identity, it’s just a fact.

7. A smile goes a long way, and can send infinite messages.

8. Running sucks. A lot.

9. Traveling, whether it means flying to East Africa or taking a drive with no destination on a beautiful Sunday, is what makes me happiest and what teaches me most of life’s lessons.

10. Don’t put regular soap in the dishwasher.

11. Time is precious and I need to savor every moment that I am young, because I know one day I’ll miss my youth extremely bad.

12. Pot is the best medicine.

13. You’re allowed to have more than one best friend, and they can all be of equal importance to you.

14. A lot of things you love can also be things you hate, or have hated at some point in life. For example: boys, money, the rain, beer.

15. Scents have just as strong of a tie to memory as visuals.

16. It is very rare for someone to be both street and book smart. It’s usually one or the other. My GPA may not be a 4.0, but I’m quite the hustler.

17. Not wearing a condom is not worth it.

18. Reading a lot and often is the best way to become a great writer.

19. My dad is my best friend and favorite person to talk to.

20. Taking time to reflect on life and all it throws at you is super important and beneficial. Even more beneficial is writing these reflections down so you can look back on them in the future.

Anticipation

I miss the faint smell of sunscreen that permanently lingers in the air.
I haven't forgotten the chills I would get when a single bead of sweat would roll off of my back and onto my towel after just the first fifteen minutes of laying in the sun.
I want to set my thermostat to 65 to cool me down, not warm me up.
I miss how days roll into nights and nights roll into days much less dramatically. Darkness slowly comes and night time seems to settle, not just appear. But sometimes nights can turn into mornings faster than you expect.
I'm craving watermelon, and a frozen Del's Lemonade for the ride home from Narragansett.
I miss being a local in a place where everyone else is a tourist. I hate the traffic they bring to the streets of Newport, their large Chevy Suburbans packed with six Aryan children and all of their buggy boards. But I love the feeling of superiority they give me; I feel somehow privileged being able to say "I live here, you don't, get the fuck out of my way."
I want to air my house out. Open all the windows, and clean it top to bottom. Make it smell like Pine Sol, clean sheets, Yankee Candles and outside.
I want to smoke in joe's car and drive to the Scituate Reservoir with the sunroof open even though the sun is long gone and it's a chill 70 degrees outside.
I can't wait for meaningless romances to quickly begin and then end just as fast. The sun makes boys look so much better for some reason. Once it starts to get colder you realize that you have no idea why you were attracted to them in the first place, and head back to school with no closure.
I'm excited to not have anything to do at night. No papers to write, no meetings to go to. My to-do list includes rolling a joint and seeing where the night takes me.

I just want summer. Really frigen bad.

hmph

I'm in a funk.
I think I'm at that point in my life where absolutely nothing is secure. I have no idea where I'm heading or what direction I am in. To be honest, its scaring the shit out of me. I think the most terrifying part is that I don't know what I want for the future, so I don't know how to build up any security. That has never happened to me before. I always have a plan, know what I want, and know how to get it.
I guess the other thing that scares me is the question of why I don't know what I want anymore. What made me change my mind about all the things I used to know and want. What happened to all of my other plans, not just plans, but dreams and goals.
It is said that you change a lot after your first year in college, I guess I'm a prime example.
But I miss the old me. I may have been more up tight, cocky and had high expectations, but at least I knew what I wanted. I also knew how to get what I wanted which is what seemingly lead me to happiness.

clean up time

as i was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair during my second and unnecessary shower of the day, i started thinking about all the different types of showers i take. no two showers are alike in my life, but i feel like i could categorize them together into a few groups...i bet you'll know exactly what i'm talking about.

here's three types that i tend to always take:

the shower i took last night.....
bored and sleepy but not tired enough to go to bed, and you've got no one to hang out with, so you shower for the hell of it. most commonly associated with "stoned showers". yes, stoned as in high. judge me, go ahead. something about hot water in that state of mind is just numbing. you realize after twenty minutes of being in the shower that you haven't even shaved yet and it just took you six minutes instead of under one to rinse the conditioner completely from your hair, but you still let the water massage your scalp for another four minutes anyways, and then finally get out.

nights on the prowl showers, the ones you take typically every thursday, friday and saturday nights every semester spent at college, before a date, and before a big event like a wedding, job interview or the first time you'll be seeing your ex in two years and you wanna make him jealous.
these showers get you the cleanest, make you smell the best and leave you glowing, but they take forever. but think about all the things you could possibly, and often do do in the shower. my nights on the prowl showers involve a deep shampoo and a hair maske, body wash, shave both legs ankle to thigh, my lady parts and underarms, exfoliate legs and arms, wash face, rinse my hair maske and then finally get out. lemme tell ya, all that takes a lifetime.

and

the shower i had to take this morning, at 9:35 when I had to be at work for 10, all because i fell asleep with wet hair after my "stoned shower" last night, and it was matted to one side and absolutely awful. you wet your head and run a loofah over your body and you're out in 2 and a half minutes. not even long enough to fog the mirror.


I'm realizing that I probably sound like the biggest water waster in the world, but I'm only making up for the military style showers I took growing up; my parents were water conserving Nazis.
my mom thinks she's saving the world and is personally driving the go green bandwagon. she put a max temperature on the hot water heater and installed some contraption that shuts the water off after seven consecutive minutes. i bitched every time i took a shower for a few months, and of course eventually got my way, but I still had my Dad to deal with.
my dad is just cheap. he thinks that the extra five minutes I spend shaving will cost him an arm and a leg. so he'll pound on the door and tell me to get out after eight minutes, but he can water his precious lawn every day for an hour. if i had a gallon of water for every time my dad contradicts himself, I'd probably fill an in ground pool.
I should really try harder to conserve water though. but hey, I always recycle and turn off my light!

LOVE

The following text was taken from here,.
The Kinds of People You Can Date- by Ryan O'Connell

You can date someone in the summertime when it’s too hot to have rules. This person might not make sense in February when you’re wearing thick coats and eating too much, but they’ll fit in nicely at a Fourth of July barbecue or a pool party. Your bodies will stick together in the heat and sometimes having sex will be the grossest activity you can think of, but you’ll do it anyway. You’ll understand what it means to be in a “summer mood”, how you can spend three months taking a break from your real life to make out, wear provocative clothing and drink too many margaritas. Your skin will be sun kissed, sand will stick between your toes and you’ll feel kinda sexy. When you start wearing cardigans and throwing yourself back into your work, your summer lover will fade away and the romance will live on as some kind of lost weekend at the beach. That’s okay though. Those who can love you in the summer have a difficult time doing so any other time.

You can date someone who loves you more than you love them. They’ll look at you with complete adoration and hang their jaw in a droopy way that strikes you as charming. You’ll be more goal-driven, more structured and they’ll teach you how to let go and feel worshipped. The inequity in love will be immediately apparent, but you’ll convince yourself that you’re just falling in love with them very, very slowly. After a certain amount of time, you’ll realize it won’t be possible and this swirl of guilt, anger and sadness will develop inside of you. You’ll look at their smitten face and want to spit in it. You’ll act ugly and hate yourself for not knowing how to love them back. There are certain people who are meant to have their hearts broken and there are certain people who are meant to break hearts. You’re not sure which is worse.

You can date someone who will treat you like shit. They’ll be a Scorpio or a sociopath and have an intoxicating energy that’ll suck you in. After a few months, you’ll have completely lost yourself, making excuses for their awful behavior and telling your friends, “You just don’t know them like I do.” Even though you know it’s bullshit and hate yourself, those rare moments of tenderness will keep you involved and make it feel worth it. Hopefully, you’ll hit a wall with this person and tire of the emotional manipulation, abuse and misery. You’ll make a clean break and feel like you’ve woken up from a nightmare. Later, people will tell you that “everyone has that type of person in their life at some point. You know, the kind that abuses you and leaves you wanting the next kick.” Hearing this is supposed to make you feel better about everything. Or maybe it’s not. It’s hard to tell. What you do know is that you’ll never blame yourself for what happened. You’ll always blame them.

You can date someone who’s more attractive than you and marvel at their perfect body and porcelain skin. Their clavicle is just so exquisite, isn’t it? Love them most when they’re naked and they’ll love you most when you’re clothed. You might be smarter than them, have more warmth, empathy and intuition, but somehow you’ll end up feeling like the inadequate one. Everyone stares at you when you’re out together thinking, “What are they doing with that?” At least that’s what you’ll assume they’re thinking. Dating someone so beautiful has made you completely paranoid and insecure. Even though the beautiful person has reassured you of their love, it won’t be enough and you’ll stop dating them because you don’t want to feel like a gargoyle anymore. You’ll miss their clavicle most of all.

You can date someone who has never been in love before. They’ll remind you of teen love and it will be absolutely delightful. They’ll say weird intense things without knowing how weird and intense they are and make grand sweeping gestures of their love for you. They haven’t been ruined yet, haven’t discovered how cruel people can be and how much they can disappoint you. You’ll inevitably be that person for them though. Through some sort of love osmosis, they’ll inherit your bitterness and broken hearts when you start to show the slightest bit of disinterest. When they leave, you won’t ever be sure if dating them was worth it.

You can date someone who would be a good father or mother. Admire them for their nurturing capabilities and wonder if you’d be a good parent. Leave them when you stop wondering.

You can date someone who’s right for you. They’ll have a normal clavicle, make sense year-round, been in love before, take care of you when you’re sick, be occasionally passive-aggressive, want kids, sometimes disappoint you, love you, hate you, love you again. You won’t worry about who’s the cuter one or who loves the other one more. It just won’t cross your mind, which is when you know the love has longevity.

The people you date aren’t necessarily the people you end up loving and that’s okay. There will be different kinds of people who enter your life at certain times. You date someone who hates you when you hate yourself. Afterwards, you date someone who loves you too much to make it all better. The goal is to eventually have your shit sorted out so you can love someone just because they’re lovely and make you happy. That’s it. I love you; you love me. The end.

......

First of all, thanks to my best friend Sarah for sending this to me, and recognizing that it highlights some of my finest relationships just flawlessly.

There was one point as I was reading this text where I actually thought someone had written it about my life and never mentioned it to me before. It was scarily relate-able. It's relevance to my short-term but humiliatingly developed list of what I considered romances is I think what left me saying "wow" when I was finished reading and scroll back up to read it again.

I hope you find it as entertaining, thought-provoking and inspiring as I did.

Nutella Goodness

Nutella.
Where do I begin? It's just so frigen good. Smooth and creamy, rich and flavorful; I keep coming up for more and more uses for the chocolate-hazelnut spread. Typically I'll just spoon big servings into my mouth and consider it a snack in itself, although I've tried a few other ways to enjoy the treat.
One of my favorite Nutella experiments involved puff pastry or pie shells and marshmallows, and is incredibly easy and delicious.

Simply cut your pie dough or puff pastry into 4 inch squares, place about a half of a tablespoon in the middle, topp with 4 or 5 marshmallows, fold the square diagonally and crimp the edges closed.
Brush an egg wash over the tops and bake them in a 350 degree oven for about 7 minutes or until the edges are golden brown

The finished product is unreal. The marshmallows somehow soak up the hot melted Nutella and create a filling with a superb texture that I can't really describe. They're light and fluffy, but smooth and creamy. A perfect combination that I suggest everyone tries.