hmph

I'm in a funk.
I think I'm at that point in my life where absolutely nothing is secure. I have no idea where I'm heading or what direction I am in. To be honest, its scaring the shit out of me. I think the most terrifying part is that I don't know what I want for the future, so I don't know how to build up any security. That has never happened to me before. I always have a plan, know what I want, and know how to get it.
I guess the other thing that scares me is the question of why I don't know what I want anymore. What made me change my mind about all the things I used to know and want. What happened to all of my other plans, not just plans, but dreams and goals.
It is said that you change a lot after your first year in college, I guess I'm a prime example.
But I miss the old me. I may have been more up tight, cocky and had high expectations, but at least I knew what I wanted. I also knew how to get what I wanted which is what seemingly lead me to happiness.